Gay Abortions/2019

And now, without further ado, the 2019 Gaybies!

Worst Can't Let Hillary/Obama Go Cartoon

For the second year running, Ben Garrison takes this category, with 37% of the vote (a full 50%, actually, if you count the votes for his runner-up cartoon) going to his grotesque hatred of Hillary Clinton.

Runners-up:

Worst Cartoon about a Tragedy (Hurricane/Flooding)

This and Wildfires only got one entry apiece, which contributed to the restructuring of the 2020 Gaybies.

Worst Cartoon about a Tragedy (Wildfires)

Worst cartoon about a Tragedy (Mass shooting)

34% of the vote means congratulations to Mike Lester, who apparently imagines that if you're a "good guy" and you have a gun, the gun provides a force field, and also that Muslims attending Friday Prayer should do so with machine guns hidden under their clothing.

Runners-up:

Worst Cartoon about a Tragedy (Other)

Paul Zanetti takes this category with 50% of the vote. All those teenagers protesting climate change were really just little kids who wanted the day off, amirite?

Runner-up (and just barely, with 40%):

Worst Obituary Cartoon

37% gives this category to JRRose! and his milquetoast tribute to Luke Perry (and ignorance, apparently, of everything else the actor ever did).

Runner-up:

Worst Caricature

Despite the breadth of choices in this category, Rob Smith, Jr. managed to get 24% of the vote with that fucking Ilhan Omar drawing.

Runners-up:

Worst "A Thing Happened" Cartoon

Henry Payne takes this category with 16% of the vote and a cartoon that could better be described as "Did A Thing Happen? I Wasn't Paying Attention".

Runners-up:

Worst Label

18% gives this category to Andy Marlette. Thank you, Cum Pass. We appreciate you.

Runners-up:

Most Incomprehensible

I almost feel bad awarding this category to Jerry Holbert, but 31% of the electorate agrees with me when I say: Huh?

Runners-up:

Least Concealed Bigotry (Racism) in a Cartoon

We all know Sean Delonas is a hate golem, but his depiction of Latin Americans here is particularly despicable, and took 24%.

Runners-up (a three-way tie!):

Least Concealed Bigotry (Islamophobia) in a Cartoon

This was our first lightning-round category, and Warren Brown took 75% of that vote with, uh, definitely an opinion of Muslim men.

Runner-up:

Least Concealed Bigotry (LGBT) in a Cartoon

Stonetoss, the venerable "not actually no really I am tee hee a Nazi" monster, gets 24% of the vote for forgetting that adoption exists and having weird ideas about what "dropping the kids off at the pool" means.

Runners-up:

Least Concealed Bigotry (Misogyny) in a Cartoon

I am struggling to decide whether AF Branco, with 37%, actually means this woman to be unattractive or if that's just how he draws people. Either way, there are enough layers of misogyny here that I'd hit the character limit just listing them.

Runners-up:

Worst WALL Comic

55% gives another to Branco, whom I'm starting to think is not a very good artist.

Runners-up:

Worst attempt to Minimize Dem victory in the House

With only one entry in this category, it was easy to give this category to... *checks notes* Oh, Jerry. :sigh:

Laziest Non-Gorrell Cartoon

There was a lot of competition in this category this year, and yet Gary McCoy managed to pull 42% (and Mike Ramirez, below, an additional 24%) with this "splatter tool and scribble" tribute to the thousands of doctors and nurses who have selflessly defended women's reproductive rights over the last 46 years. (That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.)

Runner-up:

Most Easily Reinterpreted

Another lightning-round category, AF Branco managed to narrowly beat Mike Lester who in turn beats his wife, 41%-34%. In fact, I'm still not quite sure what Branco actually means here. Something something affirmative action?

Runners-up:

Most Willfully Dense

Mike Ramirez takes 13% of the vote and this category, with a cartoon where he willfully ignores the difference between house walls and border walls, and also the fact that Pelosi's house doesn't have an enclosing wall.

Runners-up:

Worst Gaslighter Cartoon

AF Branco wins his fourth category this year with 16%. The only good thing I can say about this cartoon is that his Omar caricature is marginally better than Rob Smith's.

Runner-up:

Overall Worst Political Cartoon

A clash of the titans in our final lightning-round match-up! With 78% of the LR votes, Bob Gorrell and "the national debt is exactly as bad as children in cages, and also those cages are spacious and single-occupancy" beat out Bruce Tinsley and the comic that got him suspended from the comics page. Good job on being worse than Bruce Tinsley, Bob!

Runner-up:

Best Edit/Parody

This year's Edit/Parody of the Year goes to SwimmingSpider, with 18%, for seamlessly adding Johnny Five Aces to Ben Garrison's poorly-thought-out poker metaphor:

And an honorable mention to Pilchenstein, at 13%, for saying what we're all thinking:

The Galatianman Award for Special Achievement in Ignoring Jesus

Man, Branco's really racking up the wins this year. It's almost as if he's a terrible, terrible cartoonist. Just terrible.

AF Branco Knows A Cuss Lifetime Achievement Award

And because he's a terrible cartoonist, in addition to his five category wins, Branco also takes home the AF Branco Knows A Cuss Lifetime Achievement Award for his tireless pursuit of letting us all know that Adam Schiff's last name kind of sounds like "shit".

Thanks, everybody!